my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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