New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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