THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
