I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
