i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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