Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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