So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
