I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
