theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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