Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
