Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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