I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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