Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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