The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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