WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
