Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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