Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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