Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
