My nipple is on Facebook.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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