Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
