So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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