so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
