I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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