i think i have two assholes
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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