I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
