Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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