watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
