Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
