fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
