Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
