Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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