On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We had to coat check the pizza.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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