when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
