Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize