I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
