To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I still have a little drunk in my system
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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