I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
