she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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