i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
too bad you live with your parents still
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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