I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
