from now on my penis is your penis
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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