Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She's the barista slut.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
When did angry sex become our thing?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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