my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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