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1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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