I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
