I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
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