Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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