put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
