shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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