FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
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No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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