It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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