Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
