on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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