I want to stick my p in your. b.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
