We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
