no, he came in my armpit
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
