I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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