Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
