she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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