Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
