dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize