Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
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She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
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The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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