so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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