it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
