I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
