are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
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I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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